To My Mom, I Don’t Want To Imagine A Day Without You

I have thought about this time and time again. When people ask me what is my biggest fear as a young woman with special needs, plenty things go through my mind. But the one concern that continually sticks in my mind is the fear of my parents no longer being here on earth.

When talking about that someday becoming a reality, it’s like I’m talking about a Stephen King film. It’s not that I’m afraid to be out on my own in the world, I’m just scared of how society would treat me as a woman with a disability that is wheelchair-bound.

From my experiences growing up, I have realized that society can be a harsh, difficult thing to deal with when you have a disability, and you’re just trying to make the best out of it.

My Biggest Concern…

My biggest concern is how I’m going to live without my mom who has been my number one rock since the day I was born and diagnosed with cerebral palsy. She went to every single doctor’s appointment when doctors gave no hope.

She has always been my partner in crime, she is like my cat women, and I’m her wonder woman, and together we fight crime in society all together that doubt my abilities to be able to do anything.

For example, growing up I struggled a lot with being stereotyped by teachers who didn’t believe I could accomplish many things and my mother used to be the first one in those IEP meetings saying, ‘Oh yes my daughter can and she will’.

To This Day…

Even to this day, she is still the same way along with my mom someday passing away being my biggest fear another thing that always crosses my mind. Will I get treated the same way in society without my mother by my side or my dad?

These are the things that I think about every single day when I go to bed and every single morning when I wake up, and with the way, society is heading for people with disabilities; when it comes to advocacy and getting the right healthcare, it’s a scary thought to think about.

Along with how will I survive the world without my parent’s guidance which terrifies me to death because people aren’t friendly in the world and they can quickly take advantage of you I’ve had that happen to me several times and I if it weren’t for my mom standing up for me and explaining to me how a certain person was taking advantage of me but think about it if it weren’t for her I probably would’ve never known, and I would’ve been very naive to it.

I Fear Being Alone

Being a young adult with the disability is scary as you try to navigate through life with your disability could be a scary thought but I know what my family’s guidance I’ll be okay in the long run I hope my fear of society goes away, but for now, I plan to work on my fear of being alone society, and hopefully, I’ll conquer it one day.

Photo by Roberto Nickson (@g) on Unsplash

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