Learning How To Love Myself With Adjustment Disorder (AD)

The past week has been severely life-changing for me. I finally took the step to see a therapist and talk about the difficulties I’ve been having with being in my early 20s with Cerebral palsy. It’s a lot to handle because you want to go out and such, but there’s always that reminder that you just physically can’t do it. You want so bad to be independent and do things on your own, but you realize certain things you’re always going to need help with.

The first time I realized it was time for me to go to a therapist was back in March when I had discovered I had been feeling more depressed than usual and I had more anxiety than I would usually on a day-to-day basis.

That’s what I knew it was time to go to my doctor and expressed to her how I was feeling about being having this condition and being a young adult with cerebral palsy.

She recommended that I go to a therapist so that I can go to talk to about how I was feeling. At first, I was reluctant to go I didn’t want people to judge me or consider me a lunatic just because I went to a therapist for mental health problems.

I finally called after my mom convinced me to set up an appointment and last Wednesday was the first day of my understanding of my diagnosis from the very beginning I knew I had some form of depression and anxiety, but I I wasn’t prepared for the words that were coming out of the therapist’s mouth.

“After listening to you, I’m going to give you the diagnosis of adjustment disorder.” My heart sunk and my head was spinning more than it spun before I wheeled into the doors of the facility.

At the same time, I was thinking to myself that explains a lot of things that define why I’ve had a hard time dealing with significant events in my life and how much my life has changed throughout my whole life.

I told myself I could either do one or two things: I can cry about the fact that I have this new disorder or I could embrace it for what it is and educate people on what it’s like to have this disorder by doing the one thing I love the most: writing and spreading awareness about my everyday life. I chose the second option. I had in my mind of course after realizing that this is just part of who I am.

Part of self-love is loving all of you just like everyone that’s close to you loves you despite everything you go through on a day-to-day basis. Despite how frustrated your loved ones may get with you from time to time they still love you, although you may have obstacles along the way and that’s okay.

I will continue to love myself even with this new diagnosis because it’s part of me, and I’m not ashamed of it. If you’re someone who recently got diagnosed with anxiety, depression, or a disorder, and you’re ashamed, don’t be ashamed of it. Use it as something that could inspire and encourage others because your story ain’t over yet.

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