Nighttime has always been one of the most difficult parts of the day for me for as long as I could remember nothing but anxiety and frustration rises as my legs become stiff and the left side of my body locks up and I say to myself here we go Cerebral palsy is about to have a party as I start to get spasms in my head and I say I wonder if Cerebral palsy is jamming out to Wilie Nelson or Elvis Presley.
As I toss and turn around in my bed only to find myself being nothing but restless I tend to think about how much of an adventure Cerebral palsy is and how crazy it has been for me to be on along the way I tend to reflect on the plan and my goals for the future regarding all the things I want to achieve as an individual with cerebral palsy.
If I’m not thinking about any of those things I’m thinking about what can I do to stop this constant pain from continuing to happen how could I distract myself from the pain it seems like with each hour of the night it intensifies in my mind is left with questions I don’t have the answer to: Do I take my Ibuprofen even though I don’t like the side effects to it? Do I wake up my mom and my stepdad to help me stretch out my legs and keep me elevated ? Do I call my boyfriend Joey and wake him up from his sleep to comfort me?
Do I really have to go to the bathroom or can I just hold it for a little bit longer? These are all the questions that go through my mind because of the lack of mobility I do have. I always need help doing the simple task that most people without a condition like Cerebral palsy can do on a day to day basis.
Having to rely on someone could be pretty stressful and it does cause me to have major panic attacks cause I don’t necessarily know how to get the pain to stop on my own that’s a difficult thing for me to expect as a young woman with Cerebral palsy but I hope with over time I’ll find a situation to my sleepless nights with Cerebral palsy.